Hello my dear readers!
Recently I was in a dark place, doubting not only myself but God and his plan for me. I leaned on my friends and the amazing community of sisters that I have been blessed to know through Franciscan (side note: I never thought I'd have SO many woman that I would call friends!). Through them I had tons of voices storming Heaven that something would change.
Well it did.
Quite dramatically too.
You see. I have received an un-exemplary grade in a class and this was grounds for me to no longer be a part of the amazing Nursing program at my school. Well I wasn't about to let one measly little grade get between what I believed to God's plan for me. So I stood my ground and fought. But, as many fighters know, you reach a point in your battle when you realize that no one is replying and if they are it's not helpful to your cause. This killed my spirit.
My parents we're amazing during this period by constantly thinking of knew ways to fight or even to start applying to other schools closer to home so that I could work with my CNA while working to get my RN. However, something that no one can understand is that pain of leaving somewhere you believe you are supposed to be and that is how I felt about Franciscan University. Yes it has it's faults, and if you catch me at the right moment I will be the first to be MORE than happy to list them all out for you. But, nothing, I repeat, nothing beats the community and the faith that literally seeps out every pore. (To future Freshman - community shouldn't be the soul reason you join a school, but you should feel comfortable, don't force yourself into liking it.)
So through all this I was completely lost.
Was I understanding God? Or were the past 2 and a half years all in my head? (Jury's still kinda out on that first one...)
So I sank into disappear. Which is the EXACT opposite of what I needed! What I needed to do was go to God with my concerns and talk to those around me about ways to help myself get out of this deadly cycle. But I did none of that. I laid in bed feeling sorry for myself. Crying. I don't cry. Ever.
Until one knight I texted a close friend of mine that's planning on joining the mighty LC (Legionaries of Christ, just the coolest group of priests ever!) and asked him to pray for me. He replied with exactly what I needed to here. That he was praying for me and that the despair wasn't God but the Devil drawing me slowly but surly away from where I needed to go. And then he sent me the St. Ignatius prayer that I put up in my previous blog post.
Well. Here I sit, a week later sitting in a Starbucks sipping at my VERY tasty tea (I got my wisdom teeth out and I'm so happy to drink tea again!) just coming from the Adoration chapel where I was thanking God for the miracle that he worked in my life.
You are looking at a (academic probationary) Class of 2018 Nursing Student!
Miracles do happen, you just have to believe and pray.
Thank you to everyone that helped me through this. I know I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around but you stayed anyway, I am beyond lucky to call you family and friends.
Recently I was in a dark place, doubting not only myself but God and his plan for me. I leaned on my friends and the amazing community of sisters that I have been blessed to know through Franciscan (side note: I never thought I'd have SO many woman that I would call friends!). Through them I had tons of voices storming Heaven that something would change.
Well it did.
Quite dramatically too.
You see. I have received an un-exemplary grade in a class and this was grounds for me to no longer be a part of the amazing Nursing program at my school. Well I wasn't about to let one measly little grade get between what I believed to God's plan for me. So I stood my ground and fought. But, as many fighters know, you reach a point in your battle when you realize that no one is replying and if they are it's not helpful to your cause. This killed my spirit.
My parents we're amazing during this period by constantly thinking of knew ways to fight or even to start applying to other schools closer to home so that I could work with my CNA while working to get my RN. However, something that no one can understand is that pain of leaving somewhere you believe you are supposed to be and that is how I felt about Franciscan University. Yes it has it's faults, and if you catch me at the right moment I will be the first to be MORE than happy to list them all out for you. But, nothing, I repeat, nothing beats the community and the faith that literally seeps out every pore. (To future Freshman - community shouldn't be the soul reason you join a school, but you should feel comfortable, don't force yourself into liking it.)
So through all this I was completely lost.
Was I understanding God? Or were the past 2 and a half years all in my head? (Jury's still kinda out on that first one...)
So I sank into disappear. Which is the EXACT opposite of what I needed! What I needed to do was go to God with my concerns and talk to those around me about ways to help myself get out of this deadly cycle. But I did none of that. I laid in bed feeling sorry for myself. Crying. I don't cry. Ever.
Until one knight I texted a close friend of mine that's planning on joining the mighty LC (Legionaries of Christ, just the coolest group of priests ever!) and asked him to pray for me. He replied with exactly what I needed to here. That he was praying for me and that the despair wasn't God but the Devil drawing me slowly but surly away from where I needed to go. And then he sent me the St. Ignatius prayer that I put up in my previous blog post.
Well. Here I sit, a week later sitting in a Starbucks sipping at my VERY tasty tea (I got my wisdom teeth out and I'm so happy to drink tea again!) just coming from the Adoration chapel where I was thanking God for the miracle that he worked in my life.
You are looking at a (academic probationary) Class of 2018 Nursing Student!
Miracles do happen, you just have to believe and pray.
Thank you to everyone that helped me through this. I know I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around but you stayed anyway, I am beyond lucky to call you family and friends.
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